7 Simple Tips That Will Soon Stop Your Negative Mindset in Perimenopause

It is an understatement to say that perimenopause can be a bit of a mind game. All those hormonal shifts can wreak havoc on your thoughts, emotions, and mindset, ramping up added anxiety, fatigue, and stress. Continuous negative thought patterns, always fearing the worst, being critical of everything and everyone, feeling low, unable to see the good in anything, and being fiercely critical of yourself - from the way you look, your weight, your shape, and just about every other flaw you might have - can all take a toll on your confidence and self-esteem. But fear not, you are not alone and there is a way out.

Cultivating a positive mindset is like having your very own personal cheerleader inside your head and can help you shift those negative thought patterns and completely change your experience of perimenopause. Here are 7 simple tips that will soon stop your negative mindset in perimenopause and help you rediscover the strong, confident woman you truly are.

1.     Challenge Your Inner Critic:

If you have never heard of the inner critic before, it is that little voice in your head that loves to remind you that you are not good enough and will never amount to anything. It is like a sneaky saboteur on a mission to sabotage your confidence and your mindset. During perimenopause, this horrible inner critic loves to take centre stage and point out all your flaws, amplify all your doubts, and remind you of all your mistakes. It just loves to chip away at your confidence and mindset all day, every day.

Your inner critic is not your friend, and it is not even you!

But here is the deal - your inner critic is not your friend, and it is not even you! Yep, that’s right. It is not your actual mind that calls all the shots – it is your subconscious mind that plays a big role in your mindset. It is where your inner critic hangs out and is responsible for amplifying all those negative thoughts we have been talking about. So, understanding and managing your subconscious is crucial.

Take back control from your inner critic

Recognizing your inner critic is the first step to taking back control – when coaching I even ask my ladies to give it a name. Once you understand that it is not your true self, but a side effect of perimenopause, you can start to silence it, boost your self-esteem, and switch your mindset to one of positivity. And the best way to do that is to talk back at it. Call it out, like you would a naughty child. Tell it you know exactly what it is trying to do. Refuse to cooperate with its intentions. Tell it you no longer belief those things to be true. Rise above it. Do not let it get a foot in the door of your brain. Trust me after a while, you will get smarter and smarter, and you will start to take control of your mindset, not your inner critic.

2. Do Not Let Your Negative Mindset Catastrophize!

As mentioned, sometimes, your mind can play tricks on you. It whispers doubts, makes you over-think and question everything. Sometimes, your mind sends the inner critic to gang up and play tricks on you, making you overthink and question everything until you have created a catastrophe.

Your irrational mind begins to invent a script

Take a simple SMS message from a friend, for example. It sounded blunt and to the point, like they might be mad at you. Within minutes, your irrational mind begins to invent a script about why they could be mad at you. You rehash your past conversations searching for a plausible reason. But guess what? The simple truth was that she was in a rush when she sent the message – she is still the same person she was yesterday, not grumpy in the least. She was simply busy with no time for a long message filled with emoji’s and kisses.

So, it pays to pause, take a breath, and rationalise your thought patterns when they begin to spiral out of control. Ask yourself, "Is this thought rational?" Most times, it is not. It is just your annoying and very noisy subconscious playing more mind games.

3. Flip Your Negative Thoughts

Here is a simple trick that works: when you catch negative thoughts creeping in, flip it around. If your mind says, "I'm not good enough," flip it to "I am more than enough." It is like turning the lights on in a dark room.

"I can't handle this" becomes "I can handle this, I've overcome challenges before, and I'm resilient."

"I'm so overwhelmed" becomes "I can do this and I’m taking one step at a time."

"I'm getting older, and I'm losing my looks" becomes "I'm embracing the beauty of aging, and my inner radiance shines through."

Focus on your strengths and possibilities for the future

You get my drift, right? It is so easy, yet so effective. These positive flips help reframe negative thoughts into empowering, constructive ones. They encourage you to focus on your strengths and possibilities for the future, rather than dwelling on the past and creating self-doubt. So, when a negative thought comes in your head simply flip it and start enjoying a positive mindset.

4. The Power of Saying 'Not Yet’ Fuels A Positive Mindset

I am sure you often hear yourself saying, "I can't do this". Look, we all do. It is a common mindset trap, especially in perimenopause. Lack of sleep, aches and pains, hot flashes, and anxiety not only drain our physical energy, but they hamper our confidence and motivation to do simple tasks.

Two little words that introduce the concept of time and potential

But here is where the magic of "not yet" comes in. When we say, "I can't do this," it is like slamming a door shut on opportunities. But by adding "not yet" to the end of that sentence, you create a different narrative: "I can't do this...not yet." Those two little words introduce the concept of time and potential.

It is an acknowledgment that your current limitations are just that - current. They do not define your capabilities in the long run. By using "not yet", you open the door to growth, learning, and progress. It is a simple linguistic shift that can reshape your mindset, fostering a sense of optimism and possibility.

So, the next time you catch yourself thinking, "I can't", try tacking on "not yet." It is like a magic wand that conjures up a positive mindset and can lead to significant changes in your approach to challenges.

5. Do Not Let Toxic People Mess with Your Mindset

Toxic people are emotionally draining and can really mess with your mindset. And they do not have to be in person, they can be on social media too. Remember, perimenopause is a time when you need increased support and understanding, but unfortunately, this is precisely when toxic people can be most damaging. You have heightened emotional sensitivity, so any negative interactions can have a more profound impact.

Negative drama can erode your self-confidence and peace of mind

Someone posting cryptic comments on social media can send your mindset into a spiral, just as negative interactions and drama can erode your self-confidence and peace of mind and hinder efforts to maintain a positive mindset. Toxic individuals and online drama are potent stressors that can intensify hot flashes, sleep disturbances, and other physical challenges, so do yourself a big favour and ‘unfollow them’. If it is family members, try to limit the time you spend with them until you feel stronger.

6. Rewire a Negative Mindset with Daily Affirmations

Affirmations are like your little pep talks, and they can be absolute game-changers during perimenopause. Affirmations not just words, they are your new best buddies that can help rewire your mindset, help you fight off negativity, and remind you that you are an amazing powerhouse.

Affirmations can set the tone for your entire day

Do affirmations work? Absolutely! Just imagine starting your day with this thought: "I’m grateful for all I have, I'm finding joy in the little things and celebrating this incredible journey." That is an affirmation, and it can set the tone for your entire day, not to mention your perimenopause.

Start your day with positive affirmations. Repeat, or even better write statements in your journal, notebook, or phone such as "I am strong," "I am confident," or "I am in control". These all help to rewire your mindset and can be your daily reminder that you've got this. They will reshape your perspective and remind you that perimenopause is just one more adventure in your amazing life.

7. Boost Your Mindset by Celebrating the Wins

Celebrating your wins during perimenopause is not just about throwing a party; it's a powerful tool for boosting your mindset and self-esteem and serve as a reminder that there’s always something to smile about, however small. This phase brings challenges, both big and small, and acknowledging and celebrating even your smallest achievements can have a profound impact on your overall mindset.

Help maintain a positive mindset and build confidence

 Why is it so important to celebrate our wins? Well, it helps you maintain a positive mindset, builds confidence, and reminds you that you can do this! Celebrating the wins, no matter how small, will fuel your resilience and empower you to conquer whatever perimenopause throws your way. Here are five examples of wins to celebrate:

·       “I had a great night's sleep. Victory!”

·       “I did not lose my temper today. Go me!”

·       “I tried a something new today and loved it.”

·       “I didn’t let a negative comment pull me down.”

·       “I took some time out for myself today.”

These celebrations are not just about the big moments but the little victories that add up, making your perimenopause journey more fulfilling. Write them down at night before you go to sleep – end your day feeling proud of what you achieved. Keep cheering yourself on, and let the wins remind you of your incredible strength.

Conclusion: 

A positive mindset is your secret sauce for perimenopause

Your mindset in perimenopause really does matter. It can be your downfall, but it can also be your secret weapon, your secret sauce of resilience to help you navigate the twists and turns that this journey brings. It is the key to getting your confidence and self-esteem back, and it is how you rediscover that amazing strength that has been inside you all along. With these 7 simple tips, you have the tools to stop your negative mindset in its tracks and replace it with peace and positivity in perimenopause.

You’ve got this!

Written By: Lala Maepa | 06 Nov 2024